A whole month?

I thought maybe I hadn't posted for a while - but a whole month? I apologise at the lack of committment this shows, especially from a newcomer like me.
Why did I not post.... I was making progress on my own personal journey, and then I found a quad in my shed. Not a not a person in a wheelchair but a 4WD bike (second hand ~$4+ grand during intial discussions). I had expressed my opinion that we should not buy it, and it was bought anyway and put in the shed (subsequently locked) and I was not informed. When I opened it to get out some folding chairs, in order to kick back on the lawn with a friend one unassuming friday night, drink wine, eat pizza and watch the kids eating theirs on the trampoline...... I was shocked and appalled. No words. Stunned. Been dealing with this, along with plethora of other issues, over the last weeks.
I missed the reunion for a number of reasons, but mostly didn't want to go because i feel overweight and out of control, grumpy, indecisive and downright lazy. This extra ten kg's I have acquired since November feels like an albatross around my whole body. But now I have booked a flight for a weekend in Sydney, to do the personalised, small scale reunion thing. Very much looking forward to it in a week's time.
I am pusuing clarity this past week. I am actively trying to still my mind to answer my big question, so I can deal with all this shite. When I remove this blockage in my system I know I will - feel better, "un-do" my sciatica/sore bum-hip, lose weight, exercise again.....
I have a completely full schedule this weekend - helping out at soccer rego day tomorrow, drinks tomorrow night, church sunday morning including leading sunday school, b'day party sunday arvo, friend staying sunday night, people for dinner monday night and next week lots of work to do...... so i have kicked off the weekend with a sly bottle of wine to myself tonight, cracked at 4.30pm tout seul. Oh, and J said he needed to go to over 9000 feet flying home tonight, to get over a dust storm. He was so high in his little plane he said he started to get woozy,dizzy, hypoxic and had to talk himself out of fainting (ie: plunging to his death)......
But i spent the day at a wiggles concert then 3 year old's birthday party at a play cafe and going to friday afternoon assembly - all good, wholesome friday family time